Morning Commute
Eddie sat in his usual corner at the back of the train car on the upper deck, face turned to the window. He didn’t look at me when I got to the top of the stairs at the front of the car. Usually he smiles. A woman in the front seat opposite us on the lower level was the only other person in the car. She had a pastel pink and yellow blanket over her outstretched legs, feet on the facing seat, head tipped onto her shoulder. The dark outside tarred the windows. Only stray piercings of light got through when a car passed or a street light went by.
The harsh fluorescent lights buzzed and the speaker crackled.
An automated voice droned “The next stop will be … Lake Townsend.”
Eddie looked rumpled, battered. His clothes looked disheveled, unkempt. It took a minute to register, because it was out of his nature. He was always pressed and energetic, ready with a smile and greeting. I’ve been riding the train with him every morning for six years now, and he never once failed to offer a bright morning start.
He drew a sigh and I sat in the seat next to him. I know, sitting right next to him wasn’t really a “guy” thing, but something was bothering him. Then the train creaked and the wheels ground. It rocked gently on the tracks and got underway.
“Eddie?” My voice seemed loud in the empty car. “Eddie, you okay? You look like hell, man.”
He sighed again. “Do I? I feel like hell too.”
I swallowed. He didn’t turn to face me, just kept staring out the window. When we passed streets, I saw few if any lights on the road. A dark late-autumn day, wet and cool. It was like being in a cave. The brightness in the train car deepened the dank.
“What … everything okay?” I didn’t know what to say.
“No … no it’s not.”
I shifted in the uncomfortable silence. I opened my mouth to prompt him again but he cut me off.
“Something happened on Friday.”
“This past Friday? The thirteenth?”
“Yeah.” He drew a third sigh. “I was on my way home. You know, I’m one of the last riders on the last train at the last stop. Sometimes the conductors don’t even check on me after they get the ticket. I don’t think they’d stop if they didn’t have to.”
I waited a moment for him. He finally continued.
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Cool! I started feeling nervous as the narrator did
Thank you, Mazzz_in_Leeds! I’m glad you liked the story. And thank you for taking the time to read it and comment! I really appreciate that!
Ohh good tale,
Does make me wonder what we don’t notice when traveling on public transport, the dead could very easily ride with us…
Thank you very much, Chance! I really appreciate the kind words, and that you came by to read and comment! I’m happy you enjoyed the story, and keep your eyes open on those buses and trains … you never know …
nice ghost story!
Thank you, Tim! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for spending time with my work and letting me know what you thought. I appreciate it.
Great ghost story! I guess he just needed someone to hear his tale of woe.
Welcome to #fridayflash!
Thank you so much Laura! I appreciate both the time to read and comment, and the welcome! Hopefully I can keep up with everyone.
Very cool ghost story. Great job!
Thank you, Eric! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read and let me know what you thought.
Nice little twist there. I thought it was going one place but you doubled back on me. Well done.
Thank you very much Linda! I appreciate the time to read and let me know what you thought.
Visceral, shocking. I liked it.
Thank you very much, Donald! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you very much for taking the time to read my work and offering feedback. It’s much appreciated.
Sufficiently creepy story for Friday the 13th! Nicely done
Thank you, Deb! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by to read it and comment!
Awesomeness sir. Utter awesomeness.
Thank you Al, for both the recommendation to participate AND all the links. I couldn’t have done it without your help. And thanks, too, for taking the time to read and comment. It means a lot to me.
I always love a good ghost story, and this was a good one. So glad you joined in on #fridayflash.
Thank you very much for the kind words, and the welcome! I hope (hope!) to make #fridayflash a regular part of my weekly routine to force myself to write something! Thank you again for spending time reading my work.
Cool story . . . nice descriptions . . . Loved it! Happy friday the 13th!
–Weezel
Thank you Weezel, I’m really happy you liked it.
Have a great weekend too!
I’m so glad I don’t do trains. So now there’s a certain road I must avoid, and trains. Please don’t write anything anything about planes or I’ll never make it to Italy.
This was fantastic, as usual.
Well thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it and stopped by to let me know! (Hm … planes, eh? Hmmmmm…)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO no plane stories!!!!
Tempt NOT the REAPER!!
That was awesome.
Thanks, Bryce! I’m glad you enjoyed it! I was a little worried it wasn’t my best effort.
Should know, should know by now that there is no ending to your stories. But I get sucked in every time. *what happened to Eddie?* Brat kid. So I’m reading The Poet by Michael Connely for the 2nd time. Read it the first time in 1997 when it came out. This new copy has a forward by Steven King which you should read because it describes you. You are the master of the hook.
Aw, thanks, Sara! What a kind thing to say! I’m flattered, and so glad you enjoyed the story.
Thanks for spending time with my work!