Thing (Writing Exercise)


Another attempt at the 125-words-or-fewer, no-adjectives-or-adverbs exercise.  This one cruises in at about 122 words (close!), but it has a twist.  See if you can find the tricky item in this piece!  And of course, all are welcome to play along!

The “prompt” for this one was: Two kids find something strange.  Decribe the scene with 125 words or fewer and no adjectives or adverbs allowed.  I found this one easier.

I might do a few more of these as time goes on.  At least I’m writing again!!  😀

God bless, all!
-JDT-

PS – Updated the text, but didn’t change the twist/caveat Benjamin Rogers caught below. -jdt-

============================

“Where’d it come from?” Paulie stood, eyes riveted to it, ragweed locks rustling on the breeze. He squinted at me in the brightness.

“How should I know?” I said. I stared at it, just like Paulie.

“You … you think it’s … can we touch it?”

“I ain’t gonna touch it. Are you?”

“Heck no! You crazy?”

My jeans crumpled behind my knees when I bent with hands poised to move if it … did something. Anything.

“Is it … what is it?”

“Paulie, I don’t know, man.” He was getting on my nerves. “How can I know, dude??”

“I’m just askin’,” he muttered, but he didn’t care. We stared at it, and he rested his hands on his knees.

 

All original content Copyright J. Dane Tyler, 2008
ALL RIGHTS reserved
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4 thoughts on “Thing (Writing Exercise)

  1. Benjamin Rogers

    Ok….gotta try to bust your chops but I could be wrong! Isn’t ragweed in “…. ragweed locks ….” an adjective? I know I still haven’t done the little red sports car yet but hey….what can I say

    Ben

  2. That’s the twist, Ben! Congratulations, you spotted it!

    Now, here’s the rub. “Ragweed” isn’t an adjective, per se — it’s a noun modifying a noun. Traditional schools of grammar say a noun acting as an adjective is an adjective. But, if the litmus tests for adjectives are applied, does it hold up? (I haven’t done that yet, but it’d be interesting to see how it comes out.)

    Great job! Don’t worry about the sports car one; you can do it when you have time (or not, as the case may be, if you lost interest or are too busy.)

    Thank you for stopping by and commenting! 🙂

  3. Benjamin Rogers

    Ok here once again is my attempt!

    ***
    Bobby peers at the object sitting on the ground in front of him and Jimmy. “Jimmy, you touch it,” Bobby says to his companion while placing and elbow in his side.

    Jimmy shudders at the idea. He doesn’t want to touch the object. He shakes his head to and fro. “I’m not touching it. You want it so bad you touch it it!”

    Four legs emerge from the object as it moves towards the boys. They jump backward in fear. Bobby actually emits a scream that startles Jimmy even more.

    The boys run from the spot where the object lie. With the four legs out the turtle extends it’s head and meanders back to the weeds.

    Jimmy and Bobby need to go to the zoo more often.

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